Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Quick, to the slutcave!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
