Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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