im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
