This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
