Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
