I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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