I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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