What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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