Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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