he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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