So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
