It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
