I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
