remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
