I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
