ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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