Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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