I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Drunk is not a location!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
