Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
