oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it's like heaven, but drunker
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
