Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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