I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
