So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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