she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Boobs are out for the taking
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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