Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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