the new term for farting is butt boxing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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