Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
