Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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