those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
