Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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