Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
