It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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