Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
