Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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