i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
