oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize