thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You ruined the universe
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
