A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize