I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
