Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
