we have officially mastered the walk of shame
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
