the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
