I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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