Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
