i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
