spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
