Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
