It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize