All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I puked a lego.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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