Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
