We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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