me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
