with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
