no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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