We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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