the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
