I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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