Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
