Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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