Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
