Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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