i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
