I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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