The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize