I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
