just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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