how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
