Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
