10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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